The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
