apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
