She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize