i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
