For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
