Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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