I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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