Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Let's get the cat blown out
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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