it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
