would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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