she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Randomize
