There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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