Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
