my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
