Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
