I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
