i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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