Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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