this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
