you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
