Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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