I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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