This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
