Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
