Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
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Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
