America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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