I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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