i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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