My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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