Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize