To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
