I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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