People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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