You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
