i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Banned from zoo.
Again?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
