My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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