I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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