so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
