i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
