Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Randomize
