I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
