Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
