hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
