Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize