At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
