I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
