Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
