I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
