Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
