If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize