tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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