Too much gin, very little bucket
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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