I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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