I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize