do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.