The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.