Midget sex pt 2 tonight
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
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when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
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Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more