Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.