did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
bring money and cleavage
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.