I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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