I queefed so loud it echoed.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
