His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
