the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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