he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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