this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize