i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
